For as long as I can remember, I have kept an invisible inventory in my head. I have never given it a name.  I have never written it down.  I have only designed it in my mind.  The list contains the names of people who I know would come to my side in the case of an emergency, no matter the circumstances, no questions asked.  If I got into trouble, I would call one of them and they would hop on a plane, or bail me out, or write the check, or hold my hand.  For many years, ever since I have realized what it meant to be a true friend… I’ve had that running list in my head.
Acquaintances from work, high school best friends, family members, people I’ve been fortunate to love and have a part of my life.  They would come to me and I would go to them.  In the darkest of hours.
I am fairly certain that list has changed a bit lately.
When we were really young, and to this day, my parents talk about doing to others as we would want to have done to us.  I truly try to live that phrase.  It makes sense.  It’s real.  It’s raw.  It’s truth.  When it’s not reciprocated, I start to lose enthusiasm and fire.
I write this with a heavy, confused mindset.
Life is short, I refuse to spend it in an unrequited fashion.
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2 thoughts on “invisible

  1. smilecalm says:

    Be well, everything changes.

  2. JUNE HILL says:

    Emily…you write so beautiful .. When it is joyful, I am happy, and when you are a little down I share that too!. I don’t know if I am overreacting…. Close your eyes and dwell on. “This is the day The Lord has made.. I will rejoice and be glad in it”! My favorite verse. ( my moms , too). Love you Emmy . Gramma June

    Sent from my iPhone

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