Tag Archives: real

something’s happening

In September, I got married. and it was the most incredible day ever. I have a lot to say about it but I’m waiting until I have one more piece… our wedding video.  As a blogger and someone interested in recording our lives in some digital form, a journal of sorts – this blog… {possibly a new domain / name some day as I transition into being on a team}… I’m basically bursting @ the seams to blog about all the details and share it in the webspace for friends & family to experience.  Some things just are worth the wait, you know? xx

In the meantime, i have a lot on my mind. And it basically has to do with what our time here on earth is made of.  Deep, I know, but get to it… and this is my blog.  A bit before we went to Hawaii (next post!), I’d been doing a lot of soul-searching.  Life is so incredibly short… what do I want to make up my time while I’m here?

My now husband (eek!), showed me this video when we were lounging on Maui and I think the world needs to watch it, if they haven’t already.  And if you have? Watch it again. And make your loved ones watch it.  Put your life into perspective and consider with what you’re spending your 24 hours each day doing.

http://youtu.be/BOksW_NabEk

Um, whoa.  I had a small internal panic attack when I watched that. Why didn’t someone show me that in high school?  Freshman year?… When we were worried about the most trivial of things, stressed-out and drama-filled with events like Prom (who let me spend so much money on those high school formals?!… easily $5K… cringe).

As an adult, I’m trying to spend a bit of time each day reading sites like Quora or watching TED videos.  To keep my brain fresh, keep it thinking.  A few days ago, I read a question posted on Quora titled, “How can I thoroughly screw up my life.” Now, that’s a pretty deep inquiry.  The answer, linked below, by Raqhav Upmanyu has many thoughts I align with.  Especially now, as I’m in this phase of contemplation; wanting to shape my life in a way that brings fulfillment / happiness / experiences.

https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-thoroughly-screw-up-my-life-1/answer/Raghav-Upmanyu?srid=hjz3&share=9f49236c

And I know this is entirely an opinion, so take everything he says with a grain of salt or whatever. But it’s a perspective I somewhat align with.  It makes me think hard about what I want to make of my time left.  He starts out saying the biggest mistake you can make is becoming a statistic and “settling for being a useless part of the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.”  Me? I can’t live like that. I can’t be put through the motions and do a 9 to 5 in a cubicle and come out on the other end tired, stressed, lacking sleep, motivation and drive.  That is exactly what I would turn into.  And it’s not just in the business realm.  I found myself watching the Oscars last night. At the end of it, I thought, ‘I just wasted 3 hours on something I don’t have any interest whatsoever in.  I hadn’t seen a single movie that was nominated!? Emily, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” I could have been designing cards for my etsy business, reading the book I can’t seem to get through, laughing & connecting with my beautiful mama, sorting through yet another bin of crap I’ve saved over the years with some thought of needing it in a future time (more on that purging process later).

All in all, I want to get down on paper that today is February 29, 2016, Leap Day, an extra day for free just cause.  I’m committing to making whatever mindset I’m chasing a reality.  I want to make this life fulfilling and get everything I can out of it.  I want to do things I enjoy doing, that bring me happiness and flex my creative muscles.  I want to travel as much as possible. I want to experience everything.  I want to take chances. I want to love crazily.  I don’t want to be stressed.  I don’t want to be burnt out.  I want to be fresh +  real + alive.  I want to laugh + be optimistic + positive for 95% of my life.  And yes, this a ridiculously lofty, insane goal but why can’t I try to shoot for it? It’s worth it to me to try.

Please don’t take this post as me pointing fingers.  This is my online space to speak what’s on my mind; this is what I want to capture.  And have my kids read someday.  Hopefully they’ll think their mother was the baddest woman that ever lived who strived to make the most of her existence.

Screen Shot 2016-02-29 at 9.37.02 PM

If I could pick something, anything, that describes how I’m feeling currently.  It would be this canvas bag from @sugarboodesigns

wooza / peace / love

em j

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i so excited

It has been a few weeks of engagement and a spontaneous, terrific decision to have our wedding this fall.  What are we waiting for?  I know this is right.  We both want it.  Our non-negotiables are available.  Our venue is “chosen” and just keeps getting better day after day.  Why have a year-long engagement?  Why put this off until fall of next year?  Why wait?  The time is now.

A handful of stressful nights, more than a few “what-the-heck-are-we-doing” looks to one another and then a late night planning session with B last night at Starbucks.  We’re sipping drinks and listening to bands and different ceremony songs… I had an epiphany when listening to a song I’ve pictured myself walking down the aisle to… I got goosebumps, full-body chills… I almost lost it right then and there.  I am so incredibly excited.  And terrified!

I have dreamt about designing invitations to this event.  And focusing on the fonts and the colors.  I have an idea the theme we’re headed towards and I’m confident everything will fall into place.

What an exciting adventure this is… and we still have a few months to perfect these details and make it better, or refine it, or change it altogether!  And what a freaking blessing to have incredible parents that are willing to support me and host this very special day!

add to blog planning meeting

This life is incredible!

e

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Blessed by this boy

A lot has happened in the last year.  Emotionally, physically, mentally.  Those of you privy to a certain Facebook rant may question my dating decisions but let me shed light on that with the simple sentence of : perhaps I blew things a tad out of proportion. The way I phrased what took place most likely misconstrued what really took place and that’s all you actually need to know.  More importantly, I’m in a very, very good place.  I’m extremely happy and feeling just about on top of the world that anyone could feel at the age of twenty-six.

em & brett

This man here is my boyfriend.  A man I love and feel so incredibly blessed to have in my life.  I’ve never laughed harder, I’ve never dreamed bigger, than I do with him.  Our conversations go to the deepest, most intense level, and then 10 feet deeper.  He has depth, he has soul, and he treats me right.
I highly recommend you be happy I’m on a fabulous roller-coaster adventure flying at a most amazing speed and I only stop for potty breaks (of which there are many).
To all the doubters, remember, I was one myself.  I recommend you don’t doubt, as love and doubt have never been on speaking terms.
brett blog post
He wraps the tips of my fingers when they’re damaged.
He cooks me eggs to take on the road when I work at god-forsaken early hours.
He knows exactly how I like my Jersey Mike’s (#9, Mike’s Way on Parmesan bread).
He synced the bluetooth in my new car.
He replaced my brakes yesterday.

IMG_1479-1

He’s insanely smart and questions everything.  He pushes me to do better, to be a better person.  He doesn’t always let me get my way and I appreciate that.  I’m so blessed to have this man in my life.  I’m so blessed to love and be loved.  Life is richer this way.

Go love someone,
xo
You can thank me for showing you this later.
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invisible

For as long as I can remember, I have kept an invisible inventory in my head. I have never given it a name.  I have never written it down.  I have only designed it in my mind.  The list contains the names of people who I know would come to my side in the case of an emergency, no matter the circumstances, no questions asked.  If I got into trouble, I would call one of them and they would hop on a plane, or bail me out, or write the check, or hold my hand.  For many years, ever since I have realized what it meant to be a true friend… I’ve had that running list in my head.
 
Acquaintances from work, high school best friends, family members, people I’ve been fortunate to love and have a part of my life.  They would come to me and I would go to them.  In the darkest of hours.
 
I am fairly certain that list has changed a bit lately.
 
When we were really young, and to this day, my parents talk about doing to others as we would want to have done to us.  I truly try to live that phrase.  It makes sense.  It’s real.  It’s raw.  It’s truth.  When it’s not reciprocated, I start to lose enthusiasm and fire.
 
I write this with a heavy, confused mindset.
Life is short, I refuse to spend it in an unrequited fashion.
xo
 
oliversleepsphoto
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Uncle Eric

 

World, meet my Uncle Eric.

He is one of my favorite uncles.  He came over last night for pizza, brewskis, and good conversation.  He is funny, he does voices, he rides trains in Durango.  He is just an all-around good guy and I’m on a kick to tell people how much they mean to me.  So, Eric, you are a huge man (muscles!) and you wear overalls 75% of the time.  Your shoes are 3x the size of mine and you have a great smile.  I love how caring you are and how supportive you are of your family.  I love when you cook us southern collard greens at all the family holidays.  And how you eat even healthier than I do.
I don’t get to see you often but when I do… you’re a day maker.  Thank you for being nice and funny and real.
xo,
em.j

 

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